Agility Humour – definitions

I had this sent to me by a friend I thought it was funny.

CONTACTECULE (kon-‘tak-ti-kyool) – Noun. The smallest particle of a toenail a judge can see to determine if your dog made the contact.

CRATIFY (‘kray-ti-fi) – Verb. To convert a van or station wagon for canine transportation.

ESTIWALKING (‘es-to-‘waw-kin) – Noun. Trying to figure out a course’s obstacle order before the numbers are placed.

FRAMEGAZING (‘fraym-gay-zin) – Noun. When your dog stops at the top of the A-frame
and looks around at the spectators.

HESITIP (‘hez-e-tip) – Verb. When the dog slows down and leans back on the teeter just before the tip point.

JUDGE FRIGHT (‘ juj ‘freyet) – Noun. A dog’s belief that the judge is an axe-murderer.

MISCOMMANDICATION (mis-ke-mand-i-‘kay-shun) – Noun. Calling out the wrong name for the next obstacle.

NOSTAYAMAL TENDENCIES (no-‘stay-uh-sy-dal ‘ten-den-seez) – Noun. The
overwhelming desire of some dogs to start the course while the handler’s back is
turned.

OTHERLEFTITUS (‘uth-er-left-‘ti-tus) – Noun. A condition in which the handler is constantly giving the wrong directional command.

POOPYLACTIC (poo-pe-‘Ink-tik) – Noun. The plastic bag used to pick up dog doo.

PREMATURE OEXITATION (pre-me-‘tur o-eg-se- ‘tay-shun) – Noun. The act of leaving the table before the “0” in “GO”.

PUPULSION (pu-‘pul-shun) – Noun. The invisible force a handler uses to make the dog perform
an obstacle at a distance.

REPOLE (re-‘ pol) – Verb. To correct a weave pole performance without having to start
completely over.

RETUN (‘re-tun) – Verb. To perform back-to-back tunnels.

ROLLOCLES (‘ro-lo-kels) – Noun. Dried-up, week-old bits of dog treats found in your pocket.

SUBCINCO (sub-sin-ko) – Adjective. Describing a run with less than 5 faults.

UNTUN (un-‘tun) – Verb. When a dog reverses and comes out the same side of a tunnel he entered. The act is also known as “tunnel
bounce”.

WAVE POLES (wayv-pols) – Noun. What weave poles become when a fast dog goes through them.

WHERETOWHIRL (‘ hwer-tu-hwerl) – Noun. The spinning motion a dog makes after completing an obstacle not knowing where to go next.

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