A good satire on how we treat our dogs

Subject: Homes required

> Help Needed

> Please help!!!! After two long years of being on a waiting list for  an agility dog, we have been notified by the breeder that, at long  last, our number has come up and …WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!!! We must  get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time  consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn’t be  fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on  Monday we MUST place the children into rescue this weekend!
>
> They are described as:
>
> One male – His name is Jimmy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light  blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He  doesn’t bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing  directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all  shots. Tonsils have already been removed.   Jimmy eats everything, is  very clean, house trained &gets along well with others. Does not run  with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read  soon.
>
> One female – Her name is Suzy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix),  strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can  be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament  tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is  current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy & can be  affectionate. Gets along well with other little girls & little boys  but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a  one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently  working on her house training-shouldn’t take long at all.

>
> We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what’s right for them; that is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy.
>
> I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here!!! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

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